Oldie but Goodie – For cat lovers who’ve been there:
Instructions for giving your cat a pill
1. Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call friend.
6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get friend to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down, remove ruler and rub cat’s throat vigorously.
7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered Doulton figures from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
8. Wrap cat in large towel and get friend to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force cat’s mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
9. Check label to make sure pill is not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply band-aid to friend’s forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
10. Retrieve cat from neighbor’s shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Throw Tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
12. Ring fire brigade to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap.
13. Tie cat’s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed, hold cat’s mouth open with small spanner. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet of steak. Hold head vertically and pour pint of water down throat to wash pill down.
14. Get friend to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.
15. Arrange for SPCA* to collect cat. Ring local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.
Author unknown, who has my eternal gratitude for making me laugh as much the 100th time as the first.
Thursday, 11. February 2010
Thank you! I added this page to bookmark)) I think would be useful …
Sunday, 14. February 2010
Nice article. Would be grateful for any other information concerning this topic. Thanks!
Saturday, 20. February 2010
I want to thank the blogger very much not only for this post but also for his all previous efforts. I found fromsurvivaltothrival.com to be very interesting. I will be coming back to fromsurvivaltothrival.com for more information.
Thursday, 25. February 2010
I have very much of interest in your article. I’ve been collecting glassware for years and your info is valuable. Thanks for sharing. Do you know of some suggestions on where to go to ascertain out more about this?
Thursday, 25. February 2010
There’s a wealth of information here. Thanks! I’ll be back for more.
Friday, 26. February 2010
Great article, thanks for the share. Blog bookmarked
Friday, 26. February 2010
Not sure what you are asking me re glassware, or what info was valuable to you. Happy to assist once I know what it is you are inquiring about. Thanks for the visit.
Friday, 26. February 2010
Thanks Joe – will strive to get more current on my posts.
Friday, 26. February 2010
More info re self-healing? Have no more info on giving a cat a pill, other than as a cat owner, can verify that the post is pretty accurate.
Friday, 26. February 2010
Thanks Gerry – will get my act together to get & stay more current.
Friday, 26. February 2010
Thank you 4 visiting – working on building the wealth here.
Sunday, 28. February 2010
Thanks to author a blog, I actually saved a lot of time! I would go again!
Monday, 1. March 2010
Not sure what you are saying dulia, re saving time, going again.
Saturday, 6. March 2010
Great blog! Looking forward to receiving new posts!
Friday, 16. April 2010
This is my first visit here, but I will be back soon, because I really like the way you are writing, it is so simple and honest
Sunday, 18. April 2010
I really appreciate what you write here, very fresh and intelligent. One thing though, I’m running Firefox on Linux and some of your content are a little off. I know it’s not a popular setup, but it’s still something to to keep in mind. Just giving you a heads up.
Sunday, 18. April 2010
Thanks Bonnie. Confess 2 not knowing exactly what you’re saying, but am scoping for a new theme/format, for when I actually get this blog flowing. So overdue, yet patience has allowed clarity of purpose.
Sunday, 18. April 2010
Thank you scrathth – much more frequent writing coming vewy, vewy soon.